Dear god, thanks for making water to keep me healthy and letting me live for you! Amen!!!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
sail away with Corona....
So, I have recently quit my job as a psychiatric nurse so I could spend the summer with my kiddos. I missed being a stay at home mommy...i missed my leisurely coffee dates with friends....and frankly, I missed my babies. Period. So after much thought and prayer, my husband and I decided it would ultimately be best that I quit a job I love to stay home with the kids.
Being a stay at home mom rocks. It really really does. But I've noticed the last few nights...come 7ish o'clock...I start dreaming about drinking a glass of wine (or 3...oops) and all I want is for these little miracles to GO TO BED. So...I have revised my "being a mommy is the most wonderful thing on the planet"...to "being a mommy is the most wonderful thing on the planet ...until 7. Then the kids grow horns and turn into psych patients."
I often hesitate about posting about "needing a glass of wine" because of the kids or "omg they are driving me crazy" on facebook and other social media sites, because well, honestly, I have friends who have lost kids. I KNOW in my heart that my BAD evenings arent' bad. And I know that I WILL miss this someday. Another reason I hesitate is because I worry so badly about other moms judging me. But I think I've come to terms with that and decided that I am over it. I'm a good mom. I'm not BAD or awful because I want to have a drink (or 3) when the kids are going crazy. I'm not awful for wanting them to just "go away" for 20 minutes. And I"m not awful for writing this. I think that's why mothers have such a hard time. Too many people putting on a june cleaver front, when in fact, they are drinking the cooking wine also.
My kids are in bed now. And it's too quiet. I miss them. I can't wait until tomorrow. I love their little smiley faces. But I'm enjoying this beer.....alot.....
Being a stay at home mom rocks. It really really does. But I've noticed the last few nights...come 7ish o'clock...I start dreaming about drinking a glass of wine (or 3...oops) and all I want is for these little miracles to GO TO BED. So...I have revised my "being a mommy is the most wonderful thing on the planet"...to "being a mommy is the most wonderful thing on the planet ...until 7. Then the kids grow horns and turn into psych patients."
I often hesitate about posting about "needing a glass of wine" because of the kids or "omg they are driving me crazy" on facebook and other social media sites, because well, honestly, I have friends who have lost kids. I KNOW in my heart that my BAD evenings arent' bad. And I know that I WILL miss this someday. Another reason I hesitate is because I worry so badly about other moms judging me. But I think I've come to terms with that and decided that I am over it. I'm a good mom. I'm not BAD or awful because I want to have a drink (or 3) when the kids are going crazy. I'm not awful for wanting them to just "go away" for 20 minutes. And I"m not awful for writing this. I think that's why mothers have such a hard time. Too many people putting on a june cleaver front, when in fact, they are drinking the cooking wine also.
My kids are in bed now. And it's too quiet. I miss them. I can't wait until tomorrow. I love their little smiley faces. But I'm enjoying this beer.....alot.....
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Hate......
I think "Christians" have become quite hateful. It's so sad to see so many people who profess their love for Christ say such awful things about "Muslims" or "gays" or anybody that doesn't "sin" the way they do. Christians claim to follow someone who represents LOVE, yet they spread such hate. Tell people to feed the orphans, yet they just bought a fancy new toy. Sometimes it's better to stop the preaching to others & just love them. I know both Muslims & Christians.....I have NEVER heard any of my Muslim friends gossip or say hurtful things. EVER. And gay people? You will stand in line for 3 hours for a chicken sandwich? You could have stood in line at a homeless shelter and fed the hungry. The Christian people don't realize that your beliefs do NOT make you a good person, your ACTIONS do. As long as Christians are "hateful" they are pushing people away from Jesus rather then bringing them to him. This is where the term "hipo-christian" comes from. I won't dare talk about what a good "Christian" I am, (because I'm not) and will not tell others how to live there lives. The GOD I follow loves me regardless of how imperfect I am. Didn't Jesus spread LOVE? People need a little LESS religion.....and a lot more soul.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
My One Year Plan
I have seen alot of "bucket lists" on blogs, and we all know i cant think a whole life time ahead so i thought i would do a one year plan! So....here are the things I plan on doing before march 11, 2013.
* finishing school ( December 2012!)
* getting a tattoo (or two!)
* paint something beautiful
* spend a whole day finding cute clothes @ various thrift stores
* help a friend
* help a stranger
* make a pie from scratch (with Lily)
* watch star wars..the whole series (with River)
* make a new friend that I have NOTHING in common with
* grow something I can use/eat (not smoke...hehe)
* read a non school book.
* call a friend from high school
* go canoeing/kayaking just me & my husband
* go on a date to somewhere we wouldn't normally frequent
* cook an all vegan meal
* help a child (not my own)
Help me stick with this! I thought this would be so fun! I may add to it, and will update a I cross things off! What is your 1 year plan?? ;)
* finishing school ( December 2012!)
* getting a tattoo (or two!)
* paint something beautiful
* spend a whole day finding cute clothes @ various thrift stores
* help a friend
* help a stranger
* make a pie from scratch (with Lily)
* watch star wars..the whole series (with River)
* make a new friend that I have NOTHING in common with
* grow something I can use/eat (not smoke...hehe)
* read a non school book.
* call a friend from high school
* go canoeing/kayaking just me & my husband
* go on a date to somewhere we wouldn't normally frequent
* cook an all vegan meal
* help a child (not my own)
Help me stick with this! I thought this would be so fun! I may add to it, and will update a I cross things off! What is your 1 year plan?? ;)
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
What I learn in nursing school....
I get to clinicals today and immediately decided I didn't want to be there. It's not fair that I have to be here away from my kids all day. I don't think it's fair I have to be at school, I don't think it's fair I have to do all this charting, I don't think it's fair I have to yada yada yada. All of these "not fairs"...all of these "why me's"....sighhh....
Well, fine I thought..I will go meet my patient. He is supposedly in his 30's and has mild mental retardation. I was thinking, well, he should keep me busy today! Nope. I go to say hi and introduce myself and let him know I will be his nurse today. He is fine. COMPLETELY fine! Cognitive, alert...and needs nothing. Great! I am going to be sitting around today doing .....nothing! All of this self pity!
So I decided...what the hay...I am going to follow him around and see whats going on. I followed my patient to physical therapy. I followed him to occupational therapy. And I watched him do the auto ambulator. HOURS of excruciating work for him and I watched as other patients gave up, set down, some even FELL ASLEEP! lol. Not mine! He wore a smile! Happy! Laughing! And so motivated! I could tell he hurt. You could see it behind his....smile. The therapist would ask, "would you like to keep going?". He said yes! You could tell he didn't. Push and pull, lift and stand, tug and turn. Over and over and over again. When he is done, I could tell he was in pain as I wheeled him back to his room. I asked him if he was in any pain and he stated "no". Patients never turn down pain meds! So...surprised, I asked again! He said "No". I could tell he was. When we got back to his room it was so late in the day and I really needed to get in a physical assessment...but he was SO tired! I had to do it though, so reluctantly I asked. I felt awful. He....smiled. He said "sure! gotta make sure everything's working huh?". It changed my whole perspective for the day! WOW! I'm wallowing in my self pity and this guy is such a trooper! So kind! So cooperative! It was amazing. I loved seeing him smile after such excruciating stress on his body. What if everyone was like him? This guy....whom people call "mentally retarded" has a better outlook on life then anyone I have ever met. When he's tired...he smiles. When he's in pain....he smiles. When he is alone....he smiles. When I'm tired...I complain. When I'm in pain...I complain....When I'm alone and miss my family...I complain. I am married, have 3 beautiful kids, have a chance to go to college, have all of my school paid for, have a nice enough house, and am able to eat what I want, when I want without getting sick...and I have complained about pretty much everything...my kids, husband, house, money, school, food. EVERYTHING. My patient is in his 30's, will probably never marry, never have children, never go to college, never live outside a hospital setting, and has to modify his diet depending on his blood sugar and the amount of medicine injected into his stomach. And I didn't hear him complain ONCE! I whined all day. To my teacher, to my friends. I felt like such a jerk by the end of the day! SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL BRAT.
I have learned alot in nursing school, but today I learned alot. I learned alot about what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for my husband who pulls his weight...and alot of mine, I m thankful for 3 amazingly beautiful, healthy, perfect kids. I'm thankful for the opportunity and the cognitive ability to be able to go to school and eventually get a job that will make me ALOT of money. I'm thankful for the fact that I can live in my house, not have nurses and doctors waking me up and bothering me all day long. I'm thankful I can eat what I want, when I want without any consequences. I'm SO thankful. And I'm thankful for him. I am so thankful that God put him in my path to remind me that I really don't have it that bad. I will never forget his smile. EVER. God has been so good to me and I think he knew I needed a reminder of how good I really do have it.
Some people are put on earth to do certain things, and he was definately put here to shine his sunshine on everyone that meets him!
In nursing school I expect to learn about medications, sicknesses, IV's, catheters, Naso=gastric tubes, bowel programs....these are all skills we have to do in clinicals. But what I learned today, this is definately not what I thought i'd learn in nursing school.
Well, fine I thought..I will go meet my patient. He is supposedly in his 30's and has mild mental retardation. I was thinking, well, he should keep me busy today! Nope. I go to say hi and introduce myself and let him know I will be his nurse today. He is fine. COMPLETELY fine! Cognitive, alert...and needs nothing. Great! I am going to be sitting around today doing .....nothing! All of this self pity!
So I decided...what the hay...I am going to follow him around and see whats going on. I followed my patient to physical therapy. I followed him to occupational therapy. And I watched him do the auto ambulator. HOURS of excruciating work for him and I watched as other patients gave up, set down, some even FELL ASLEEP! lol. Not mine! He wore a smile! Happy! Laughing! And so motivated! I could tell he hurt. You could see it behind his....smile. The therapist would ask, "would you like to keep going?". He said yes! You could tell he didn't. Push and pull, lift and stand, tug and turn. Over and over and over again. When he is done, I could tell he was in pain as I wheeled him back to his room. I asked him if he was in any pain and he stated "no". Patients never turn down pain meds! So...surprised, I asked again! He said "No". I could tell he was. When we got back to his room it was so late in the day and I really needed to get in a physical assessment...but he was SO tired! I had to do it though, so reluctantly I asked. I felt awful. He....smiled. He said "sure! gotta make sure everything's working huh?". It changed my whole perspective for the day! WOW! I'm wallowing in my self pity and this guy is such a trooper! So kind! So cooperative! It was amazing. I loved seeing him smile after such excruciating stress on his body. What if everyone was like him? This guy....whom people call "mentally retarded" has a better outlook on life then anyone I have ever met. When he's tired...he smiles. When he's in pain....he smiles. When he is alone....he smiles. When I'm tired...I complain. When I'm in pain...I complain....When I'm alone and miss my family...I complain. I am married, have 3 beautiful kids, have a chance to go to college, have all of my school paid for, have a nice enough house, and am able to eat what I want, when I want without getting sick...and I have complained about pretty much everything...my kids, husband, house, money, school, food. EVERYTHING. My patient is in his 30's, will probably never marry, never have children, never go to college, never live outside a hospital setting, and has to modify his diet depending on his blood sugar and the amount of medicine injected into his stomach. And I didn't hear him complain ONCE! I whined all day. To my teacher, to my friends. I felt like such a jerk by the end of the day! SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL BRAT.
I have learned alot in nursing school, but today I learned alot. I learned alot about what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for my husband who pulls his weight...and alot of mine, I m thankful for 3 amazingly beautiful, healthy, perfect kids. I'm thankful for the opportunity and the cognitive ability to be able to go to school and eventually get a job that will make me ALOT of money. I'm thankful for the fact that I can live in my house, not have nurses and doctors waking me up and bothering me all day long. I'm thankful I can eat what I want, when I want without any consequences. I'm SO thankful. And I'm thankful for him. I am so thankful that God put him in my path to remind me that I really don't have it that bad. I will never forget his smile. EVER. God has been so good to me and I think he knew I needed a reminder of how good I really do have it.
Some people are put on earth to do certain things, and he was definately put here to shine his sunshine on everyone that meets him!
In nursing school I expect to learn about medications, sicknesses, IV's, catheters, Naso=gastric tubes, bowel programs....these are all skills we have to do in clinicals. But what I learned today, this is definately not what I thought i'd learn in nursing school.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Proverbs 17:17
Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble." Proverbs 17:17
I have been thinking about this verse all week! I LOVE it! So honest, so good, so true. I have been so blessed this last year to meet some of the greatest friends and people I have ever known. There kindness really showed today especially. My kids have a 3 day weekend from school and I ofcourse, still have class. (boooooo). So I was worrying all weekend about what I was going to do with them. We are too broke for my husband to miss any more work! But once again, God works everything out and my kids had a great day! They both got to stay places with friends I trust 100% and with friends they know and love. A year ago, I would have been so lost and would have had nobody to help me out, but my friends were so sweet, helpful and more then willing to help! I am so thankful!
Family too, my whole family, husband, mother, sister, kids have been burdened by me going back to school ...and every single one of them have been so generous! So kind...and so willing to help! I would be so lost without all of these wonderful people God has given me....and for them...I am SO thankful!
I have been thinking about this verse all week! I LOVE it! So honest, so good, so true. I have been so blessed this last year to meet some of the greatest friends and people I have ever known. There kindness really showed today especially. My kids have a 3 day weekend from school and I ofcourse, still have class. (boooooo). So I was worrying all weekend about what I was going to do with them. We are too broke for my husband to miss any more work! But once again, God works everything out and my kids had a great day! They both got to stay places with friends I trust 100% and with friends they know and love. A year ago, I would have been so lost and would have had nobody to help me out, but my friends were so sweet, helpful and more then willing to help! I am so thankful!
Family too, my whole family, husband, mother, sister, kids have been burdened by me going back to school ...and every single one of them have been so generous! So kind...and so willing to help! I would be so lost without all of these wonderful people God has given me....and for them...I am SO thankful!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
The ugly truth....
I hate going to bed at night feeling like I screwed everything up....but that's what is happening tonight. My day just started bad...didn't really expect it to end much better. I messed up this evening for the kids, I messed the evening up for my husband and today was just a load of yuck.
First thing this morning I get cussed out by some guy in a dark parking garage because I have no frickin clue where I'm going...literally cussed out. Called everything under the sun! The parking garage was dark, huge and there was nobody around. I really just wanted to cry by the time I found my way out of there. The actual clinical day went okay..the teacher seems nice, the other students are nice. But it really sucks knowing that on Wednesday nights I will get home and just have enough time to kiss my kids goodnight and then get to bed so I can get back up at 4am. Best.mother.ever. I feel awful! My kids probably feel so neglected and I never feel like I'm doing the mom job "right" during school. I really hate it..but at the same time I know just how much my kids will benefit from all of this!
And then also tonight, my husband was so excited about his new small group...but I had to tell him that it just won't work on Wednesday's. I get home sooo late, I have so much homework and I can't handle the kids and homework alone. This is not the first time he has had to drop something he was excited about because of my school. I know he was upset, but as usual he didn't complain, or get upset...he just did it.
I'm just so tired of feeling like everything is only getting half done!
Sorry to all about the whine-fest....venting is so much easier then crying! I am PRAYING that tomorrow goes fast and I have the next 3 days to do what I do best...to do what I love most...to just be "mom" again. :)
First thing this morning I get cussed out by some guy in a dark parking garage because I have no frickin clue where I'm going...literally cussed out. Called everything under the sun! The parking garage was dark, huge and there was nobody around. I really just wanted to cry by the time I found my way out of there. The actual clinical day went okay..the teacher seems nice, the other students are nice. But it really sucks knowing that on Wednesday nights I will get home and just have enough time to kiss my kids goodnight and then get to bed so I can get back up at 4am. Best.mother.ever. I feel awful! My kids probably feel so neglected and I never feel like I'm doing the mom job "right" during school. I really hate it..but at the same time I know just how much my kids will benefit from all of this!
And then also tonight, my husband was so excited about his new small group...but I had to tell him that it just won't work on Wednesday's. I get home sooo late, I have so much homework and I can't handle the kids and homework alone. This is not the first time he has had to drop something he was excited about because of my school. I know he was upset, but as usual he didn't complain, or get upset...he just did it.
I'm just so tired of feeling like everything is only getting half done!
Sorry to all about the whine-fest....venting is so much easier then crying! I am PRAYING that tomorrow goes fast and I have the next 3 days to do what I do best...to do what I love most...to just be "mom" again. :)
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