So, it's a new year! Maybe..just maybe I can attempt this blogging thing again! (no promises though! ;)...
I just started school again...today...the first of 16 loooong excruciating weeks. I think, that in itself will be my motivation for keeping up with this! I've had a lot of harsh feelings about it and maybe this could be an outlet?? I'm incredibly thankful I get to go to school...I'm even more thankful it is paid for, however, that doesn't make leaving my sweet kids any easier. This semester I will be gone out of the house most mornings before they even wake up. I hate it! And I rarely use the word hate. Why go to school then? Well..maybe because my dreams of "being super stay at home mom" and my dreams of "owning my dream home, having a degree, and taking my kids to disneyworld" clash just a teeeeensy little bit. Maybe a LOT bit! All in all...in the mornings I feel empty. Like a huge failure. What mom doesn't get to make her kids breakfast? Or kiss them good-bye? What if something happens while I'm away? What if they need me? I know that there are a million amazing mothers who work...but I honestly am just not cut out for it. On the other hand, I really want to show my kids, especially the girls that you can have it all! The world is your playground! You can be a mother, have a career, and have an education. I want to set an example. And I want to feel "accomplished". I am so easy to point out my flaws. It's a dirty little habit...but one that is sooo easy to do! I could tell you a thousand things I don't like about myself, but I have a perfect "me" in my mind that I am working so hard towards! Anyway, enough about school!
So since it is a new year...I have decided to make a few useless resolutions! Easy ones to keep! For one, I would loooove to get a tattoo! Yap..something little...yet fitting! Made just for me! Any ideas? My other one is get good at my new hobby...photography! Just got a new camera, which I LOVE! And really want to learn to take amazing photographs! I will have a lot of lecture time to read the manual..hehe. (Just kidding, I get VERY good grades. ;P ).
Well, I think that is enough for tonight! Will try try try to do this more often!
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