Going to be a GOOD day!

I have so much to be thankful for! It's Friday! I aced my first test! I got to school safely! So....I've decided today is going to be GOOD!

Blue, blue...and blue!

Today I am just SAD...knock down drag out sad and exhausted. Almost too tired to write, so this will be sooo short! I came home from school yesterday and just wanted to sleep, instead Holly came home with a fever. Well,  I had ended up going with a friend to see another friend which was perfectly great...until I got home. I had tried to go to bed and Hollyn was running a 102 fever ALLL night. Poor sweet girl! She didn't get any sleep and neither did I. By the time she went to bed, it was time for me to get up for school. So, I go to school alllllll day today and then the exhaustion hits on the way home. I felt awful. I got home, I was too tired to spend any "quality" time with the kids. I am in complete robot mode, and I hate it. I am too tired to even sleep. And then Lily is upset, and Holly has a fever again, and River wants to play. And I ofcourse feel like the WORST.MOM.EVER. So...the kids get to bed , Andy goes to bed. And I melt down. I had promised I wouldn't do this this semester...and tada! First week! I am so hoping that I'm just not adjusting to change well and that this will all be fine after the first week. But as of right now, I am so sad. Just so awful, terribly miserably depressed tonight. I want to wake up and kiss the kids good-bye, I want to be with Hollyn when she is at home with a temperature. How can you feel like your doing the right thing? And at the same time, feel like you are doing the wrong thing? I am so confused, sad, tired, mad, angry....blah. blah. blah . (and whiny if ya can't tell! ) .
I am PRAYING that next week is more organized. More comforting. More relaxing. I know I am so crazy blessed, but tonight is the worst I've felt in months. I'm pretty sure iti's just the exhaustion! I should be so happy today! I got a 100% on a very hard exam today! My kids are healthy! Tomorow is Friday! I have SO much to be thankful for. I am really hoping I have something happy and positive to post tomorrow!

Let's try this again! 2012

So, it's a new year! Maybe..just maybe I can attempt this blogging thing again! (no promises though! ;)...
I just started school again...today...the first of 16 loooong excruciating weeks. I think, that in itself will be my motivation for keeping up with this! I've had a lot of harsh feelings about it and maybe this could be an outlet?? I'm incredibly thankful I get to go to school...I'm even more thankful it is paid for, however, that doesn't make leaving my sweet kids any easier. This semester I will be gone out of the house most mornings before they even wake up. I hate it! And I rarely use the word hate. Why go to school then? Well..maybe because my dreams of "being super stay at home mom" and my dreams of "owning my dream home, having a degree, and taking my kids to disneyworld" clash just a teeeeensy little bit. Maybe a LOT bit! All in all...in the mornings I feel empty. Like a huge failure. What mom doesn't get to make her kids breakfast? Or kiss them good-bye? What if something happens while I'm away? What if they need me? I know that there are a million amazing mothers who work...but I honestly am just not cut out for it. On the other hand, I really want to show my kids, especially the girls that you can have it all! The world is your playground! You can be a mother, have a career, and have an education. I want to set an example. And I want to feel "accomplished". I am so easy to point out my flaws. It's a dirty little habit...but one that is sooo easy to do! I could tell you a thousand things I don't like about myself, but I have a perfect "me" in my mind that I am working so hard towards! Anyway, enough about school!
So since it is a new year...I have decided to make a few useless resolutions! Easy ones to keep! For one, I would loooove to get a tattoo! Yap..something little...yet fitting! Made just for me! Any ideas? My other one is get good at my new hobby...photography! Just got a new camera, which I LOVE! And really want to learn to take amazing photographs! I will have a lot of lecture time to read the manual..hehe. (Just kidding, I get VERY good grades. ;P ).
Well, I think that is enough for tonight! Will try try try to do this more often!

BACK TO SCHOOL!

So...summer is done...over...gone! :( It's back to this crazy mess of a busy schedule...back to balancing kids, family, life, school, PTA...blahhhh! The kids and I go back Monday! So sad! Thankful I got to spend yet another summer home with my babies! Hollyn is getting so big so fast...talking, singing, praying, dancing! Ridiculous how smart she is! I so want another baby...but money, school, timing and EVERYTHING else says no! lol! Maybe someday...maybe. River starts 2nd grade on Monday. Where does the time go? Seems like yesterday I was sitting in Chrissy's bathroom taking the pregnancy test, wearing a blue jumper, just got done eating lunch at Schlotzkys'. Such vivid memory! And tada!! 8 years later...! Lily is starting 1rst grade! So crazy! She is as sassy as ever....hope the teacher has fun with my little fire-cracker! hahaaa! Beautiful girl she is! Well...that's it! I'll let you know how I do with the balancing life thing! lol

Lily's complex and amazing mind...

So...for some reason my creative thinker has been asking alot of Heaven/hell questions...and tonight she tells me her theory on hell. which is ... "hell makes you run slower and the monsters run faster". Wow! What better way to describe it!  

Another Lily-ism: I was telling Andy how somebodys name is on all the rosters for all 4 of my small-groups at church and she hasn't came to any of them...saying how i didn't know her...and I said "nobody knows her"...and Lily says..."Umm...God does". Well said child! Well said!

Kids say the darndest things!

Lily: "Daddy, are the dinosaurs in Heaven?"
Andy: "Yes, I'm sure they are".
Lily: "Darn it! Oh great...now they are going to eat all the pretty angels!!!".

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Lily on the way home from the spray park today. "This is my pet worm, he eats popcorn and smells like poop...I LOVE him!"

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Holly while we were feeding the snake a frozen mouse: "Awww...the bunny wabbit is sad"..."poor wabbit"..."I'm sad"...

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LOVE MY KIDS

Welcome to the most shocking rose ceremony in writing prompt history. Please award roses to the ten people (or items) in your life that you'd like to continue pursuing a relationship with.

This is another writing prompt...sounded interesting! Plus, I'm bored! (yes, I have home-work and dirty laundry..but I need "me" time!)

So...Welcome to the most shocking rose ceremony in writing prompt history. Please award roses to the ten people (or items) in your life that you'd like to continue pursuing a relationship with.*decided to make this a very non-serious list*

1. My hairbrush* I wake up looking like the geico caveman..thank God my husband loves me regardless..but others would run away screaming "Zombie Apocolypse"! I was not blessed with "jessica alba" hair...I instead got a mixture between Taylor Swift and Steven Tyler...blahhh!

2. Coffee* Ohhhh...the mornings where Hollyn screams so loud that I think something may break, and River and Lily are fighting...nothing fixes my day like coffee! Ahhhh....

3. Facebook* My little indulgence to life outside of "my life"...it's nice hearing about other peoples crazy days when my own life is going nutso!

4. My car* it's an old, messy mommy mobile...but it is paid for..and gets me from A to B...aww..the little things! And it is wayyyy tooo hot to walk in Texas!

5. My Plants* They make me crazy happy...I dunno why..it's strange....

6. Desperate Housewives* It's like a soap opera...only better!

7. The washer and Drier* has yours ever broke with 3 kids and  a weeks worth of laundry? Nuff said...

8. The internet* How else would I worry myself like crazy if I didn't have internet to look up my kiddos sniffly nose symptoms every time they get sick? Sheesh...

9. Paper plates* shhh...don't tell the environmentalists! These will save TONS of dishes...sorry mother nature!

10. On a more serious note...I'm really thankful for the big things...such as an everloving GOD, my husband, my children, my friends, my family....food, money, LiFe, the list goes on and on and on.......

:)