Hate......

I think "Christians" have become quite hateful. It's so sad to see so many people who profess their love for Christ say such awful things about "Muslims" or "gays" or anybody that doesn't "sin" the way they do. Christians claim to follow someone who represents LOVE, yet they spread such hate. Tell people to feed the orphans, yet they just bought a fancy new toy. Sometimes it's better to stop the preaching to others & just love them. I know both Muslims & Christians.....I have NEVER heard any of my Muslim friends gossip or say hurtful things. EVER. And gay people? You will stand in line for 3 hours for a chicken sandwich? You could have stood in line at a homeless shelter and fed the hungry. The Christian people don't realize that your beliefs do NOT make you a good person, your ACTIONS do. As long as Christians are "hateful" they are pushing people away from Jesus rather then bringing them to him. This is where the term "hipo-christian" comes from. I won't dare talk about what a good "Christian" I am, (because I'm not) and will not tell others how to live there lives. The GOD I follow loves me regardless of how imperfect I am. Didn't Jesus spread LOVE? People need a little LESS religion.....and a lot more soul.

My One Year Plan

I have seen alot of "bucket lists" on blogs, and we all know i cant think a whole life time ahead so i thought i would do a one year plan! So....here are the things I plan on doing before march 11, 2013.

* finishing school ( December 2012!)
* getting a tattoo (or two!)
* paint something beautiful
* spend a whole day finding cute clothes @ various thrift stores
* help a friend
* help a stranger
* make a pie from scratch (with Lily)
* watch star wars..the whole series (with River)
* make a new friend that I have NOTHING in common with
* grow something I can use/eat (not smoke...hehe)
* read a non school book.
* call a friend from high school
* go canoeing/kayaking just me & my husband
* go on a date to somewhere we wouldn't normally frequent
* cook an all vegan meal
* help a child (not my own)

Help me stick with this! I thought this would be so fun! I may add to it, and will update a I cross things off! What is your 1 year plan?? ;)

What I learn in nursing school....

I get to clinicals today and immediately decided I didn't want to be there. It's not fair that I have to be here away from my kids all day. I don't think it's fair I have to be at school, I don't think it's fair I have to do all this charting, I don't think it's fair I have to yada yada yada. All of these "not fairs"...all of these "why me's"....sighhh....
Well, fine I thought..I will go meet my patient. He is supposedly in his 30's and has mild mental retardation. I was thinking, well, he should keep me busy today! Nope. I go to say hi and introduce myself and let him know I will be his nurse today. He is fine. COMPLETELY fine! Cognitive, alert...and needs nothing. Great! I am going to be sitting around today doing .....nothing! All of this self pity!
So I decided...what the hay...I am going to follow him around and see whats going on. I followed my patient to physical therapy. I followed him to occupational therapy. And I watched him do the auto ambulator. HOURS of excruciating work for him and I watched as other patients gave up, set down, some even FELL ASLEEP! lol. Not mine! He wore a smile! Happy! Laughing! And so motivated! I could tell he hurt. You could see it behind his....smile. The therapist would ask, "would you like to keep going?". He said yes! You could tell he didn't. Push and pull, lift and stand, tug and turn. Over and over and over again. When he is done, I could tell he was in pain as I wheeled him back to his room. I asked him if he was in any pain and he stated "no". Patients never turn down pain meds! So...surprised, I asked again! He said "No". I could tell he was. When we got back to his room it was so late in the day and I really needed to get in a physical assessment...but he was SO tired! I had to do it though, so reluctantly I asked. I felt awful. He....smiled. He said "sure! gotta make sure everything's working huh?". It changed my whole perspective for the day! WOW! I'm wallowing in my self pity and this guy is such a trooper! So kind! So cooperative! It was amazing. I loved seeing him smile after such excruciating stress on his body. What if everyone was like him? This guy....whom people call "mentally retarded" has a better outlook on life then anyone I have ever met. When he's tired...he smiles. When he's in pain....he smiles. When he is alone....he smiles. When I'm tired...I complain. When I'm in pain...I complain....When I'm alone and miss my family...I complain. I am married, have 3 beautiful kids, have a chance to go to college, have all of my school paid for, have a nice enough house, and am able to eat what I want, when I want without getting sick...and I have complained about pretty much everything...my kids, husband, house, money, school, food. EVERYTHING. My patient is in his 30's, will probably never marry, never have children, never go to college, never live outside a hospital setting, and has to modify his diet depending on his blood sugar and the amount of medicine injected into his stomach. And I didn't hear him complain ONCE! I whined all day. To my teacher, to my friends. I felt like such a jerk by the end of the day! SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL BRAT.
I have learned alot in nursing school, but today I learned alot. I learned alot about what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for my husband who pulls his weight...and alot of mine, I m thankful for 3 amazingly beautiful, healthy, perfect kids. I'm thankful for the opportunity and the cognitive ability to be able to go to school and eventually get a job that will make me ALOT of money. I'm thankful for the fact that I can live in my house, not have nurses and doctors waking me up and bothering me all day long. I'm thankful I can eat what I want, when I want without any consequences. I'm SO thankful. And I'm thankful for him. I am so thankful that God put him in my path to remind me that I really don't have it that bad. I will never forget his smile. EVER. God has been so good to me and I think he knew I needed a reminder of how good I really do have it.
Some people are put on earth to do certain things, and he was definately put here to shine his sunshine on everyone that meets him!
In nursing school I expect to learn about medications, sicknesses, IV's, catheters, Naso=gastric tubes, bowel programs....these are all skills we have to do in clinicals. But what I learned today, this is definately not what I thought i'd learn in nursing school.

Proverbs 17:17

Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble." Proverbs 17:17

I have been thinking about this verse all week! I LOVE it! So honest, so good, so true. I have been so blessed this last year to meet some of the greatest friends and people I have ever known. There kindness really showed today especially. My kids have a 3 day weekend from school and I ofcourse, still have class. (boooooo). So I was worrying all weekend about what I was going to do with them. We are too broke for my husband to miss any more work! But once again, God works everything out and my kids had a great day! They both got to stay places with friends I trust 100% and with friends they know and love. A year ago, I would have been so lost and would have had nobody to help me out, but my friends were so sweet, helpful and more then willing to help! I am so thankful!
Family too, my whole family, husband, mother, sister, kids have been burdened by me going back to school ...and every single one of them have been so generous! So kind...and so willing to help! I would be so lost without all of these wonderful people God has given me....and for them...I am SO thankful!

The ugly truth....

I hate going to bed at night feeling like I screwed everything up....but that's what is happening tonight. My day just started bad...didn't really expect it to end much better. I messed up this evening for the kids, I messed the evening up for my husband and today was just a load of yuck.
First thing this morning I get cussed out by some guy in a dark parking garage because I have no frickin clue where I'm going...literally cussed out. Called everything under the sun! The parking garage was dark, huge and there was nobody around. I really just wanted to cry by the time I found my way out of there. The actual clinical day went okay..the teacher seems nice, the other students are nice. But it really sucks knowing that on Wednesday nights I will get home and just have enough time to kiss my kids goodnight and then get to bed so I can get back up at 4am. Best.mother.ever. I feel awful! My kids probably feel so neglected and I never feel like I'm doing the mom job "right" during school. I really hate it..but at the same time I know just how much my kids will benefit from all of this!
And then also tonight, my husband was so excited about his new small group...but I had to tell him that it just won't work on Wednesday's. I get home sooo late, I have so much homework and I can't handle the kids and homework alone. This is not the first time he has had to drop something he was excited about because of my school. I know he was upset, but as usual he didn't complain, or get upset...he just did it.
I'm just so tired of feeling like everything is only getting half done!
Sorry to all about the whine-fest....venting is so much easier then crying! I am PRAYING that tomorrow goes fast and I have the next 3 days to do what I do best...to do what I love most...to just be "mom" again. :)

Pinewood derby race 2012!

So....soooooo proud of the Skolaut kids! Out of the billion boyscouts at the derby race...my sweet boy got 2nd place out of ALL and he got 1rst place in den! Missed over-all by only a few nano seconds! And....they had a sibling race and Lily got 1rst and Holly got 2nd!!! I am one PROUD MOMMA!

I do believe in fairies!

I am so thankful that my sweet sweet girl is so innocent and beautiful. I love how caring she is. I love how she has believes in child-like things...such as her fairy friends! I absolutely adore how sweet she is. She even sets out food for her sweet fairies at night. She is kind. She is bold. She is out spoken. I love Lily. Her imagination amazes me. I do believe in fairies....

My interest in pinterest!

So tonight, I made a chore/behavior system for my kiddos! It turned out AMAZING! I was so happy! Here are some pics:

Friday Im in LOVE!

I SO love Fridays! Finally home with my babies! 2 weeks of school down....14 to go!

Hollyns prayers tonight

Dear God, thank you my stickers on the wall. Thank you my sissy, thank you my Liky, thank you my tinker bell, thank you my River. Thank you my water. Amen!

**LOVE LOVE LOVE***

Cost of tea in China...

This was a writing prompt that I found on the Internet! My assignment is to answer the following: ( so maybe the kids could compare someday!)


How much does a loaf of bread cost where you live? What about a movie ticket? A gallon of milk? A candy bar? A gallon of gas? List other items you purchase on a regular basis and their cost.

Bread: $3.48 ( whole wheat high fiber)
Movie ticket: $9.00
Milk: $3.50 (organic)
Candy bar: $1.20
Gas: $3.50

Now wasn't that fun! Not that my kids will ever compare these prices..but it sure will be interesting to compare in a year or so! :)

Random thoughts

River's opinion on hoarders (the t.V show) ,"they set world records! They need to clean that house up!"

10 things every parent should keep in there car::

1. WIPEYS~ this, my friends is the absolute one thing you don't want to be caught without! The baby always has a blow-out...when I don't have wipes...yuck! Have you tried to wipe a baby butt without them? Ugh!

2. Diapers~ unless you have a scarf you don't mind using as a beautiful cloth diaper....

3. Extra clothes~ almost as vital as wipes! I just love leaving for an afternoon outing ...getting 20 minutes away ...and tada! BLOW-OUT!

4. Sippy cup~ ever give the baby an open container of milk in the car? Haha! It will stink for weeks!

5, band-aids~ kids get hurt! CONSTANTLY! But mostly when you are out and ofcourse...don't have band-aids!

6. CAMERA~ once again...kids are cute ALL the time (well,not all the time!) but mostly when you are out, and see the perfect moment ..and then ooops...no camera!

7. Hand sanitizer~ public toilets are DISGUSTING!

8. GAS~ haha! For people like me who don't look at the gage!

9. A trash bag~ if you've seen my van....you'd know why!

10. An air freshener: 3 kids= a lot of toots!

Now...let's twist this up...I will now name 10 things I just found in my van...that shouldn't be there...and you can make your own conclusions!

1. 5 soft drink cups...yes, I know...gross

2. 3 dirty jackets...

3. 2 pairs of stinky shoes

4. A fast food bag...with food in it...

5. An open packet of sweet and sour sauce

6. A weeks worth of mail...that just never made it in the house!

7. 2 dirty sippy cups

8. Dirty socks! Yap...true story...

9. About 50 boxes of girl scout cookies....ahhh...temptation!

10. A Barbie

Yap...worlds best/most organized mom! Haha!

What's in your car?

Manic Monday!

My Mondays are soooo busy!! I had school today...a sterile wound care check-off, I got an 88% ...which was very disappointing but I passed...so whatever! After school, it is rush rush rush to get Lily to cheer and Holly to ballet. I sure LOVE watching them! And then it is home-work...stories...reading time...dinner and bed! I sure love my babies!

**rather have my arms full then empty**

100 cc of Sunday!

I absolutely LOVE Sundays! The school/work week is over, it is our family fun day, and I get to go worship Jesus at Rockpointe church and see all my favorite people! Today for our family fun day we went downtown to the botanical gardens...so beautiful! And today was almost 80 degrees out so that ofcourse made it better! After the gardens we went across the street where there is a beautiful view of the skyline and launched our rocket and flew our kite! We ended the evening with some Mexican food...what a FABULOUS day!

**go and make disciples of all nations. "Matthew 28:19

**fill the earth with people and bring it under your control. Rule over the fish in the ocean, the birds in the sky, and very animal on the earth. Genesis 1:28

Cookie time!

So this post is a tribute to the most beautiful girlscout ever! Lily has a goal of 200 boxes and she will make it! Lily is in her 2nd year of scouts. My Daisy! Next year she will be a brownie. Girl-scouts opens opportunities to take trips, spend time wt other little girls and make friendships for life! Lily has got to go to the Austin Scottish Rites Children's theatre and will soon be going to a ballet...I get to go too! So here is a big PROUD tribute to my sweet Daisy...Lily!

Friday Im in love....

I love Fridays! The work week is over! The school week is over...the weeks stress seems so petty now. We are all together...in our home...together. So....Friday I'm in love.

Going to be a GOOD day!

I have so much to be thankful for! It's Friday! I aced my first test! I got to school safely! So....I've decided today is going to be GOOD!

Blue, blue...and blue!

Today I am just SAD...knock down drag out sad and exhausted. Almost too tired to write, so this will be sooo short! I came home from school yesterday and just wanted to sleep, instead Holly came home with a fever. Well,  I had ended up going with a friend to see another friend which was perfectly great...until I got home. I had tried to go to bed and Hollyn was running a 102 fever ALLL night. Poor sweet girl! She didn't get any sleep and neither did I. By the time she went to bed, it was time for me to get up for school. So, I go to school alllllll day today and then the exhaustion hits on the way home. I felt awful. I got home, I was too tired to spend any "quality" time with the kids. I am in complete robot mode, and I hate it. I am too tired to even sleep. And then Lily is upset, and Holly has a fever again, and River wants to play. And I ofcourse feel like the WORST.MOM.EVER. So...the kids get to bed , Andy goes to bed. And I melt down. I had promised I wouldn't do this this semester...and tada! First week! I am so hoping that I'm just not adjusting to change well and that this will all be fine after the first week. But as of right now, I am so sad. Just so awful, terribly miserably depressed tonight. I want to wake up and kiss the kids good-bye, I want to be with Hollyn when she is at home with a temperature. How can you feel like your doing the right thing? And at the same time, feel like you are doing the wrong thing? I am so confused, sad, tired, mad, angry....blah. blah. blah . (and whiny if ya can't tell! ) .
I am PRAYING that next week is more organized. More comforting. More relaxing. I know I am so crazy blessed, but tonight is the worst I've felt in months. I'm pretty sure iti's just the exhaustion! I should be so happy today! I got a 100% on a very hard exam today! My kids are healthy! Tomorow is Friday! I have SO much to be thankful for. I am really hoping I have something happy and positive to post tomorrow!

Let's try this again! 2012

So, it's a new year! Maybe..just maybe I can attempt this blogging thing again! (no promises though! ;)...
I just started school again...today...the first of 16 loooong excruciating weeks. I think, that in itself will be my motivation for keeping up with this! I've had a lot of harsh feelings about it and maybe this could be an outlet?? I'm incredibly thankful I get to go to school...I'm even more thankful it is paid for, however, that doesn't make leaving my sweet kids any easier. This semester I will be gone out of the house most mornings before they even wake up. I hate it! And I rarely use the word hate. Why go to school then? Well..maybe because my dreams of "being super stay at home mom" and my dreams of "owning my dream home, having a degree, and taking my kids to disneyworld" clash just a teeeeensy little bit. Maybe a LOT bit! All in all...in the mornings I feel empty. Like a huge failure. What mom doesn't get to make her kids breakfast? Or kiss them good-bye? What if something happens while I'm away? What if they need me? I know that there are a million amazing mothers who work...but I honestly am just not cut out for it. On the other hand, I really want to show my kids, especially the girls that you can have it all! The world is your playground! You can be a mother, have a career, and have an education. I want to set an example. And I want to feel "accomplished". I am so easy to point out my flaws. It's a dirty little habit...but one that is sooo easy to do! I could tell you a thousand things I don't like about myself, but I have a perfect "me" in my mind that I am working so hard towards! Anyway, enough about school!
So since it is a new year...I have decided to make a few useless resolutions! Easy ones to keep! For one, I would loooove to get a tattoo! Yap..something little...yet fitting! Made just for me! Any ideas? My other one is get good at my new hobby...photography! Just got a new camera, which I LOVE! And really want to learn to take amazing photographs! I will have a lot of lecture time to read the manual..hehe. (Just kidding, I get VERY good grades. ;P ).
Well, I think that is enough for tonight! Will try try try to do this more often!