Don't eat the Poop!

Create a list of playground dos and don'ts



So I am doing this writing prompt differently! I am doing it from a mom's point of view to a toddler...(if only they could understand).

1. Don't eat the poop! Seriously, I mean really? REALLY! I know it looks like mud, and you just want to play with it but sheesh....leave it alone!

2. Stop with the dirt throwing. It gets everywhere...in your hair, in your shoes and even in your diaper. I particularly do not like washing your hair 3 times a day, and I really don't like cleaning sand out of your butt crack. Thanks.

3. If their is a mysterious liquid on the slide...don't touch it. It's pee. Guarantee you!~ Mom knows best....

4. Us moms cringe when you dig in those little rocks...we all know their are sickos who come to the playgrounds...I don't want you picking up band-aids, condoms, or syringes...um-kay.

5. Don't pick up the band-aids...I don't care if you LOVE spongebob..it's still gross.

6. Please do more then swing...I do not like standing in one spot pushing you for 3 hours...please mix it up!

7. Please don't talk to the creepy guy sitting on the park bench whose at the park with no children...yuck...

8. Don't play with the little girl in the dress whose mommy didn't put underwear on her...ewww...ewww....ewwwww

9. Last but not least...when it's time to go...DO NOT THROW A MASSIVE TANTRUM! It's embarassing...

Those would be my advice to the two year olds if they could understand!

Now the parents....ugh...could go on for days!!!

Okay parents...here goes....

1. Please don't bring your sick kid just because they "were tired of being couped up".

2. Don't let them continue to play AFTER they've wet their pants...really? I know that mess on the slide was theirs...

3. If they throw dirt at my kid one more time......

4. Please keep the 12 year olds from running over the 2 year olds on the playscape....okay....please

5. Please don't tell all the other moms how advanced your kid is when they are setting there with one hand down their pants and the other in their mouth....umm...yeah...we're not fooled...you call it artistic...we call it...anyway...

6. Save the high heels for else-where....your at the park....

7. Please have your kiddos use manners and wash their hands after peeing...thanks!

That's not all...but I'm tired...sheesh.