BEEN SO LONG ***

So I'm not doing very well keeping up with this! I'm beginning to think I am wearing too many hats...and I definately don't have room in my closet for another one ....blogging...yet I'm compelled to do better at this! I think it would be great to take 10 minutes every evening to just write about all the cute things the kids say do...etc. it really is a great idea....in theory! haha! So...looks like I have lots of filling in to do. I guess I will start with today.
Today is Mothers Day!! My husband and kids did great...they made me a home-made wind chime...not the prettiest thing but I can see all the thought and time my husband put into organizing this..and the little writing on the piping is just too cute! I really love it ...will definately treasure it forever. Andy goes above and beyond when it comes to the home-made gifts...which are the ones I love the most. River made me a pot holder with his precious handprint on it...he made it in school...it will never get used..for the fear of the paint coming off...but it sure is precious. Lily made a picture frame...I'm going to have to learn how to post pictures on here! My kids are such a precious gift from GOD...I tend to wonder "what made me so special to deserve them?". I ask myself this question all the time...I would never give a gift so precious to myself..but he did which goes to show he is ever and all loving. I cherish every second I get to be their mother and am so grateful and thankful for my wonderful husband who made me a mommy. It's amazing how scared I was when I found out I was going to be a mother for the first time...19 years old and far from responsible and grown up. However, I remember weeks before finding out I prayed to God that he would send me something...anything that would save me from myself and the path I was on, and TADA! It took a whole two seconds after the stick turning pink to change my soul, my thoughts, my direction...my WHOLE LIFE in an instant. Amazing how that happens! Wow God is SO GOOD! I would now have 20 kids if we could afford it, however I'm pretty sure my husband would skip the border and never come back...but then again he only wanted one..and made it very clear we were done after River..and now 3 kids later...well, you know. And it's so fun to watch him with them now..he is such a good dad! Wasn't sure if he would be..actually my doubts were pretty high that he wouldn't be...but all I can say is WOW! Most amazing dad I know..who would do anything to make sure they have everything they want and need to live a great life. So with that being said HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! I'M SO BLESSED!!! PRAISE GOD!
**So other then mothers day...my Lily is also very sick. She has another UTI..she's has been struggling for almost 2 years with these now. It is so heartbreaking and stressful to sit up with her watching her flushed face and trying our damdest to get her 105 temp to go down...sometimes the tylenol doesn't work and I have to sit her by an open window and ice her tiny little fragile body down. Every time this happens I get so convinced that something awful is going to happen..must just be a mothers mind going crazy but I can't help but wonder..what did i do wrong? Even though tests after tests say it's nothing to do with her...or me...just her little body is susceptible to these stupid infections. If I could take the pain from her and times it by a million just to give her some relief...I gladly would . She is so strong..I'm so in awe that I could possibly create such a little fighter..such a strong willed colorful soul. I fall short of everything she is. She is my hero. I love all my kids the same, but she is definately the strongest. And man she's beautiful...I know it sounds vain...but I honestly don't think I've seen a prettier little girl. But then again I'm her mother! I can't wait to see what kind of woman she grows into. Well...I take that back..I"m curious..but I definately can wait! I love them being little! She is SO amazing. I'm completely blown away by her strength and the little questions she asks..." Can God see me waving at the sky" "Why did God make ants?", "If God loves everyone why does bad things happen"...."Mommy is there a swimming pool in Heaven...how will I get my swimsuit over my wings?". Haha. Almost all her questions are about God or Heaven...she is so curious...which makes me happy because she is beginning her journey getting to know God much sooner then I ever did. I'm so proud of her!
**River**
River has been good...he never gets sick. Strangely....never. He is such a happy little soul. I watch him grow. I'm not quite sure of what kind of person he's going to grow into..but I know already that he is the most playful high energy happy little spirit I've ever been around! He is way into Jiu Jitsu and fighting right now...however..his favorite game is chess, and he loves calico cats!! hahahahaa! He is half nerd half bad A$$ . hehe. His teacher often speaks of how kind and sweet he is. She said he's almost too nice! He's been bullied a few times at school which royally pi$$es me off...but what can ya do? I try to teach them to steer clear of trouble and ask them "what would God think". And I know my boy could take these kids..but his kind heart chooses not to. My sweet sweet boy! So proud of him and happy to explain to him that these situations aren't between him and them anyway..they are between him and God and the way he handles them. I have found that their are 2 little boys that bully not only him at school but many others..and he is now no longer to talk to those heethens. Other then those meanies...he makes friends easily and is very well liked. He is struggling academically this year..his teacher is pretty sure it is because he falls on the younger end in his class. He is on a level 8 and the rest of the class is along the 16-21 level. He will be attending tutoring this summer (thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law). So hopefully that helps! I hate seeing him struggle..but I know it's not a "not smart" thing. He is BRILLIANT> .
**Holly**
Ooohh...sweet sweet little song bird! My resiliant little stinker who is all sass. Cute as a button! Those dimples, those chipmunk cheeks (thanks to daddy) and that full mouth of teeth (better to bite you with!). But besides the ridiculous cuteness...man you should hear her tantrums! Icheeeee-wawaaaa! Yikes! But we will focus on the good points..the incessant way-beyond-two-year-old talking, the lovely way she walks around feeding her stuffed monkey/baby with a bottle. Covering him up! Holding..rocking! So motherly...so cute! But the singing...oh the singing! She is quite the little song bird. She goes around singing "sing, sing, sing"..and "row row boat". Love it! Maybe the next Taylor Swift? But oh so much cuter! :)
**THE SHACK**
So this is a book that my friend Rudy loaned me. HATED the first five chapters..but now see why it is such a wonderful book for my spiritual journey. Such a good fictional answer to questions we often ask God such as "Why me"..or "why would this happen". Wonderful book! Glad he loaned it to me! Thankful for sweet friends and wonderful books. I'm really trying to look deeper into my beliefs and build a true "relationship" rather then "belief" in God. I am loving our church! So thankful for our amazing church family, and wonderfully spoken pastor. I've never felt more at home in a church. I love it there. My husband serves almost every weekend on the tech team and I have started volunteering in the childrens ministry. So blessed to have this "second home". I have been reading deeper into the bible and am so amazed by everything God has done for me and my family. So thankful to have God loving children and am proud to provide them a Christian base. We openly pray in our home and openly talk of Jesus and try our best to answer all the kids questions. I am so happy with the relationship God and I have right now...and am still learning some things...and still have trouble understanding things. But I know my life is for him. I live to serve him and will direct my children in the same way. He sends me so much! My family is truly blessed!
**well, that's all!! Hopefully it won't be four months before my next update!!!! **