BACK TO SCHOOL!

So...summer is done...over...gone! :( It's back to this crazy mess of a busy schedule...back to balancing kids, family, life, school, PTA...blahhhh! The kids and I go back Monday! So sad! Thankful I got to spend yet another summer home with my babies! Hollyn is getting so big so fast...talking, singing, praying, dancing! Ridiculous how smart she is! I so want another baby...but money, school, timing and EVERYTHING else says no! lol! Maybe someday...maybe. River starts 2nd grade on Monday. Where does the time go? Seems like yesterday I was sitting in Chrissy's bathroom taking the pregnancy test, wearing a blue jumper, just got done eating lunch at Schlotzkys'. Such vivid memory! And tada!! 8 years later...! Lily is starting 1rst grade! So crazy! She is as sassy as ever....hope the teacher has fun with my little fire-cracker! hahaaa! Beautiful girl she is! Well...that's it! I'll let you know how I do with the balancing life thing! lol

Lily's complex and amazing mind...

So...for some reason my creative thinker has been asking alot of Heaven/hell questions...and tonight she tells me her theory on hell. which is ... "hell makes you run slower and the monsters run faster". Wow! What better way to describe it!  

Another Lily-ism: I was telling Andy how somebodys name is on all the rosters for all 4 of my small-groups at church and she hasn't came to any of them...saying how i didn't know her...and I said "nobody knows her"...and Lily says..."Umm...God does". Well said child! Well said!

Kids say the darndest things!

Lily: "Daddy, are the dinosaurs in Heaven?"
Andy: "Yes, I'm sure they are".
Lily: "Darn it! Oh great...now they are going to eat all the pretty angels!!!".

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Lily on the way home from the spray park today. "This is my pet worm, he eats popcorn and smells like poop...I LOVE him!"

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Holly while we were feeding the snake a frozen mouse: "Awww...the bunny wabbit is sad"..."poor wabbit"..."I'm sad"...

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LOVE MY KIDS

Welcome to the most shocking rose ceremony in writing prompt history. Please award roses to the ten people (or items) in your life that you'd like to continue pursuing a relationship with.

This is another writing prompt...sounded interesting! Plus, I'm bored! (yes, I have home-work and dirty laundry..but I need "me" time!)

So...Welcome to the most shocking rose ceremony in writing prompt history. Please award roses to the ten people (or items) in your life that you'd like to continue pursuing a relationship with.*decided to make this a very non-serious list*

1. My hairbrush* I wake up looking like the geico caveman..thank God my husband loves me regardless..but others would run away screaming "Zombie Apocolypse"! I was not blessed with "jessica alba" hair...I instead got a mixture between Taylor Swift and Steven Tyler...blahhh!

2. Coffee* Ohhhh...the mornings where Hollyn screams so loud that I think something may break, and River and Lily are fighting...nothing fixes my day like coffee! Ahhhh....

3. Facebook* My little indulgence to life outside of "my life"...it's nice hearing about other peoples crazy days when my own life is going nutso!

4. My car* it's an old, messy mommy mobile...but it is paid for..and gets me from A to B...aww..the little things! And it is wayyyy tooo hot to walk in Texas!

5. My Plants* They make me crazy happy...I dunno why..it's strange....

6. Desperate Housewives* It's like a soap opera...only better!

7. The washer and Drier* has yours ever broke with 3 kids and  a weeks worth of laundry? Nuff said...

8. The internet* How else would I worry myself like crazy if I didn't have internet to look up my kiddos sniffly nose symptoms every time they get sick? Sheesh...

9. Paper plates* shhh...don't tell the environmentalists! These will save TONS of dishes...sorry mother nature!

10. On a more serious note...I'm really thankful for the big things...such as an everloving GOD, my husband, my children, my friends, my family....food, money, LiFe, the list goes on and on and on.......

:)

My 10 biggest fears.

Another writing prompt!

 So my 10 biggest fears and why...dunn..dunnnnn...dun!

*Losing a child #1: I fear this because the world is a scary place! I have seen this first hand...I would never recover! I would be devastated....completely dead inside. This is my BIGGEST FEAR EVER!
* Dying #2; Before you call me a "Christian hypocrite" please hear me out! I feat this because I know my children genuinely need me. Their are certain things fathers can't do by themselves. If God wants to take me...I pray he does it after my kids are 18. I know Heaven will be wonderful! I do! I just want to raise my babies!
*Failure #3: I hate starting things that I could possibly fail. I have too much pride...I take things way too personally!
* Acceptance #4: Hate to admit this..but I always wonder what peoples first impression of me is. I don't think it's good. I think I'm an acquired taste! I think people think I look "young" or "dumb"...blah....
* Being dumped #5: rather it be by a husband, friend, child...I really fear getting hurt by someone I love!
* My kids being atheist #6: Another silly one! But I want my kids to know and love Christ! I want their souls saved someday! I can't fathom the minds of atheist and do not want my kids to ever have those "non-beliefs".
* Failing as a mom #7: Do I punish well enough? Do I do a good enough job? Do they get enough hugs? it goes on and on and on and on and on.....
*Getting in a car wreck with my children in my car #8: I should bump this up to number 2! I am so paranoid driving! So scared.....
* FORGIVENESS! #9: I know this is bad...another "your a Christian...this should be easy..." well...for me it's not! I fear forgiving people because then I think that maybe ...just maybe I am opening a gate for people to hurt me again!
* Abduction #10: My kids are so stinkin cute...I just know someone out there wants to take them! I know...silly silly....but that is a HUGE fear of mine!

Okay...so those are my fears! I know God says "do not worry...do not have fears" but these are mine! I do my best everyday to hand them to God!

If my Mom were a blogger.

Okay, so those of you who know me well...have probably met my mom! The crazy lady with the mind of a 17 year old/ 5 year old...it's always different! Anyway...this is a writing prompt that I thought would be oh so frickin funny! Don't get me wrong...I LOVE my mother...but she is weird! And this writing prompt has to be written! lol.

So....If my Mom were a blogger. Here are some phrases (based on a true story) that she might say!

*The guys have the eggs and the girls have the sperm
*If I could just have one more kid for that tax write off....
*Both of you girls are stupid...(to me and my sister)...but that's okay...look at your parents!
*I don't need to be "babatized again..I've done that at lots of churches! GOD".
*Some day I'm just gonna pack my stuff and go somewhere you won't find me"

LOL! I guess this only funny if you truly know my mom! I do love her! But the stuff outta her mouth..... :)

Had to share this! Just had to!!! Lily-isms!

Lily in the car today: "Daddy, do dinosaurs go to Heaven?".
Dad: "Yes, I'm sure they do".
Lily.."Ahh..man! They are going to eat all the pretty angels! Ughhhh!"
Dad and everyone else in the car "**DEAD SILENCE!**"
hahhahahahaaaaa!
So adorable! Love that little girl!

*~~ Grass is Always Greener ~~*

Lately things have been chaotic..busy schedule, too much on my plate, money, finances, everyday problems. And I find myself thinking late at night, wow...it would be so nice to go have a drink. Or go get my nails done, perhaps a pedicure? Something for ME! I have a few friends who are still childless and I see them doing these things all the time. It sure seems nice to be able to do them. And at my worst moments during the days ..it's the shopping, the cute clothes, the shoes..all the "little" things that seem to run through my mind the most. All the while , the dishes are stacked high, the laundry is never ending, I look like royal S*it, and I think how nice these little luxuries would be. Before kids I didn't think of these things as luxuries, I just did them. And that was that. These are at my worst moments...when things are bad.
   And then their is a light at the end of all this darkness. When I'm doing that endless stack of dishes..and my son runs up to me with the sweetest drawing of Pokemon, or my baby girl blows me a kiss while dumping crayons on the floor..or when Lily looks up after a major tantrum with that crazy bratty smirk (that she gets from me)...and all the other "little" things skip my mind. And that's when God puts it all in perspective. I am not here to do my nails, I am not here to look pretty, I am not here to go to the gym or look cute in a bikini. I wouldn't trade my messy house, my chocolate covered children for anything in the whole world! In 50 years it is the messy kisses, the hugs, the endless drawings of ninjas and fairies that I will remember. Those are the things that shape me and my life. Will I remember an hour in the tanning salon? Will I remember those pretty pink toe-nails? I will perhaps if I go spend the day with my daughter and we do them together! These are the things that I will remember as the things that put a smile on my face.
    Their is an old saying that goes "people who have children, and people who don't ...both feel sorry for each other". I am here, as God intended, doing the things that God intended...and I am HAPPY doing what I was called to do! (although I still welcome a trip to the salon, or day out with my best friend)...I wouldn't change my life for anything!!

DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!!

So, I've been thinking alot lately about people in general and how we judge and view one another. It all SEEMS so simple on the outside. You look at a man with his beautiful children..and you think wow, great family...so clean, well-dressed, so ...simply perfect! Then you look at a woman with bright red hair , a mini-skirt and some hooker boots and you think..trash, unkept, poor-poor sweet kids..look at their mom. And then say you go behind doors..and view these families in a way that only God can. And behind closed doors, the well dressed man cheats on his wife, shouts in front of his kids and lives in a way that EVERY
ONE would consider un-admirable ...if only they knew. (but they don't). And then look in the other house with the mother who dresses a little off and you see her hugging and kissing her kids..making cookies and reading them scripture before bed. But that's not how we see people is it?
   I'm guilty just like everybody else. But I'm really trying to work on this! I have given myself a new rule. When you see somebody for the first time, before you start analyzing this person...go say hello, and then think three nice things before "attempting" to play God and place judgment.
   We had a church core class this evening where we spoke of spiritual gifts and which ones we do and don't possess and I believe mine was discernment. I seem to have a keen eye for being able to see through people. I can tell good and bad intentions, I can see the fake people, their sick love for money, their phony-ness around others. I can just ...sense it. It's like when somebody asks somebody "how are you?", and they reply "fine"...I can always tell when they are lying. Sometimes this doesn't seem like a gift, I don't like being able to read people that well, because it makes it alot harder to "not judge" people and to make good friends.
   When it comes to this, my biggest place in judgment is when children are involved. For example, I see a mother putting her one year old in the car at the grocery store, and I think "Why the hell is that child not in a carseat!? Is she fricking stupid?" and then I have to remind myself...that perhaps this isn't between me and them..it isn't my job to super-parent the world. Or is it? Do i call the police? When is it crossing the line and just acting plain crazy?! I have no clue! Or the mid of winter, the parents all bundled up, and carrying around the sockless , infant in a onezie. What do you do? Do you judge them? Do you Ask them if they need help? Will they smack you if you say something? How do you deal with these situations? I HAVE NO IDEA.
   My point being, people judge each other everyday...whether we mean to or not. And I'm making  it a huge point to be more open minded. To not shun others for acting out of norm...trying to see the world and others through ^HIS^ eyes and not mine. I'm still figuring out how to do this..........

BEEN SO LONG ***

So I'm not doing very well keeping up with this! I'm beginning to think I am wearing too many hats...and I definately don't have room in my closet for another one ....blogging...yet I'm compelled to do better at this! I think it would be great to take 10 minutes every evening to just write about all the cute things the kids say do...etc. it really is a great idea....in theory! haha! So...looks like I have lots of filling in to do. I guess I will start with today.
Today is Mothers Day!! My husband and kids did great...they made me a home-made wind chime...not the prettiest thing but I can see all the thought and time my husband put into organizing this..and the little writing on the piping is just too cute! I really love it ...will definately treasure it forever. Andy goes above and beyond when it comes to the home-made gifts...which are the ones I love the most. River made me a pot holder with his precious handprint on it...he made it in school...it will never get used..for the fear of the paint coming off...but it sure is precious. Lily made a picture frame...I'm going to have to learn how to post pictures on here! My kids are such a precious gift from GOD...I tend to wonder "what made me so special to deserve them?". I ask myself this question all the time...I would never give a gift so precious to myself..but he did which goes to show he is ever and all loving. I cherish every second I get to be their mother and am so grateful and thankful for my wonderful husband who made me a mommy. It's amazing how scared I was when I found out I was going to be a mother for the first time...19 years old and far from responsible and grown up. However, I remember weeks before finding out I prayed to God that he would send me something...anything that would save me from myself and the path I was on, and TADA! It took a whole two seconds after the stick turning pink to change my soul, my thoughts, my direction...my WHOLE LIFE in an instant. Amazing how that happens! Wow God is SO GOOD! I would now have 20 kids if we could afford it, however I'm pretty sure my husband would skip the border and never come back...but then again he only wanted one..and made it very clear we were done after River..and now 3 kids later...well, you know. And it's so fun to watch him with them now..he is such a good dad! Wasn't sure if he would be..actually my doubts were pretty high that he wouldn't be...but all I can say is WOW! Most amazing dad I know..who would do anything to make sure they have everything they want and need to live a great life. So with that being said HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! I'M SO BLESSED!!! PRAISE GOD!
**So other then mothers day...my Lily is also very sick. She has another UTI..she's has been struggling for almost 2 years with these now. It is so heartbreaking and stressful to sit up with her watching her flushed face and trying our damdest to get her 105 temp to go down...sometimes the tylenol doesn't work and I have to sit her by an open window and ice her tiny little fragile body down. Every time this happens I get so convinced that something awful is going to happen..must just be a mothers mind going crazy but I can't help but wonder..what did i do wrong? Even though tests after tests say it's nothing to do with her...or me...just her little body is susceptible to these stupid infections. If I could take the pain from her and times it by a million just to give her some relief...I gladly would . She is so strong..I'm so in awe that I could possibly create such a little fighter..such a strong willed colorful soul. I fall short of everything she is. She is my hero. I love all my kids the same, but she is definately the strongest. And man she's beautiful...I know it sounds vain...but I honestly don't think I've seen a prettier little girl. But then again I'm her mother! I can't wait to see what kind of woman she grows into. Well...I take that back..I"m curious..but I definately can wait! I love them being little! She is SO amazing. I'm completely blown away by her strength and the little questions she asks..." Can God see me waving at the sky" "Why did God make ants?", "If God loves everyone why does bad things happen"...."Mommy is there a swimming pool in Heaven...how will I get my swimsuit over my wings?". Haha. Almost all her questions are about God or Heaven...she is so curious...which makes me happy because she is beginning her journey getting to know God much sooner then I ever did. I'm so proud of her!
**River**
River has been good...he never gets sick. Strangely....never. He is such a happy little soul. I watch him grow. I'm not quite sure of what kind of person he's going to grow into..but I know already that he is the most playful high energy happy little spirit I've ever been around! He is way into Jiu Jitsu and fighting right now...however..his favorite game is chess, and he loves calico cats!! hahahahaa! He is half nerd half bad A$$ . hehe. His teacher often speaks of how kind and sweet he is. She said he's almost too nice! He's been bullied a few times at school which royally pi$$es me off...but what can ya do? I try to teach them to steer clear of trouble and ask them "what would God think". And I know my boy could take these kids..but his kind heart chooses not to. My sweet sweet boy! So proud of him and happy to explain to him that these situations aren't between him and them anyway..they are between him and God and the way he handles them. I have found that their are 2 little boys that bully not only him at school but many others..and he is now no longer to talk to those heethens. Other then those meanies...he makes friends easily and is very well liked. He is struggling academically this year..his teacher is pretty sure it is because he falls on the younger end in his class. He is on a level 8 and the rest of the class is along the 16-21 level. He will be attending tutoring this summer (thanks to my wonderful mother-in-law). So hopefully that helps! I hate seeing him struggle..but I know it's not a "not smart" thing. He is BRILLIANT> .
**Holly**
Ooohh...sweet sweet little song bird! My resiliant little stinker who is all sass. Cute as a button! Those dimples, those chipmunk cheeks (thanks to daddy) and that full mouth of teeth (better to bite you with!). But besides the ridiculous cuteness...man you should hear her tantrums! Icheeeee-wawaaaa! Yikes! But we will focus on the good points..the incessant way-beyond-two-year-old talking, the lovely way she walks around feeding her stuffed monkey/baby with a bottle. Covering him up! Holding..rocking! So motherly...so cute! But the singing...oh the singing! She is quite the little song bird. She goes around singing "sing, sing, sing"..and "row row boat". Love it! Maybe the next Taylor Swift? But oh so much cuter! :)
**THE SHACK**
So this is a book that my friend Rudy loaned me. HATED the first five chapters..but now see why it is such a wonderful book for my spiritual journey. Such a good fictional answer to questions we often ask God such as "Why me"..or "why would this happen". Wonderful book! Glad he loaned it to me! Thankful for sweet friends and wonderful books. I'm really trying to look deeper into my beliefs and build a true "relationship" rather then "belief" in God. I am loving our church! So thankful for our amazing church family, and wonderfully spoken pastor. I've never felt more at home in a church. I love it there. My husband serves almost every weekend on the tech team and I have started volunteering in the childrens ministry. So blessed to have this "second home". I have been reading deeper into the bible and am so amazed by everything God has done for me and my family. So thankful to have God loving children and am proud to provide them a Christian base. We openly pray in our home and openly talk of Jesus and try our best to answer all the kids questions. I am so happy with the relationship God and I have right now...and am still learning some things...and still have trouble understanding things. But I know my life is for him. I live to serve him and will direct my children in the same way. He sends me so much! My family is truly blessed!
**well, that's all!! Hopefully it won't be four months before my next update!!!! **

well hello again!

I know its been awhile! Been soooo busy! I will try to do better..promise! It's so hard to balance a husband, 3 kids, school, 2 dogs, a cat...blah blah blah! ;)
Anyway, everyone is doing good...River and Lily started Jiu Jitsu...both just earned a stripe on their belt on Thursday! First Stripe! Wow!!! River is still struggling with reading in school..but I believe he'll just catch on one day..he's very smart! Hollyn is talking like CRAZY! Her biggest sayings right now are "Ima do it myself!" and "Bye honey!"..and perhaps "Rover, Lily". Lots of talking! She's so amazingly smart I can't put it in words. Lily is doing good too...she has decided she has a boyfriend, and her prolonged embracing after school is enough to make me uncomfortable..even though she's five! lol. It's cute...but Andy doesn't think so! Silly girl! Anyway, will write more later! Toooo tired!